Mistaken
by LookAtMyShoes
Summary: Despite the amount of time she’d been in the hospital, Ashley found herself missing those things like a piece of her had been ripped from the innermost chamber of who she was, throbbing and writhing from the sudden thievery of her other half. Oneshot, SxA


_This is my first try at Spashley, I hope I didn't utterly fail._

**Disclaimer: **South of Nowhere belongs to Thomas Lynch.

_Mistaken_

"Spencer…" her lover's name left her lips in a shaky exhale as one hand covered her mouth while the other reached to hook around her own waist. Her chocolate eyes melted, tears threatening to fall as her heartbeats nearly choked her, the words catching in her throat.

She felt her knees begging to give in, pleading for the relief of buckling to the floor, though she refused to comply. Her broken gaze simply remained fixated on Spencer's closed eyes, only focused on the deprivation of the oceanic haven those eyes provided. She teetered uncomfortably on the edge of splitting open and crumpling to the floor, trying to keep her balance to prevent herself from falling and refusing to get up.

The plain black and white clock hanging on the wall just opposite of her ticked cynically, mocking the silence that caused her stomach to knit enough knots to make her abdomen ache. She kept herself concentrated on the constant beeping of the heart monitor connected to Spencer like a disease, threatening to expire at any moment. Her hand cautiously gripped onto the bars of the hospital bed and she leaned forward only slightly, dropping the hand that had been covering her mouth. With her now free hand, she brushed a few rebellious blonde strands from Spencer's eyes, just in case she woke up so nothing would be able to obstruct her view, so that everything was comfortable for her.

After all, it was her fault Spencer was unconscious, lying in the hospital. It was her fault the last thing she'd heard was Ashley telling her that sometimes this thing they were doing, this love thing, wasn't worth it. It was her fault the last thing she'd heard was such a lie, a lie she believed every word of.

"Oh, God, Spencer," she whispered, trailing her fingertips along Spencer's cheek before grazing the corner of her lips then down to her jaw line. Her other hand remained tightly attached to the metal bars, mainly there to serve the purpose of holding herself up and prevent herself from quite literally collapsing. She slipped her other hand into one of Spencer's, entwining their fingers like laces and she brought her lover's hand up to her lips, closing her eyes. "You have to wake up, Spence."

And at that point, she was unable to stop herself. The tears fell like rain, her constricted sobs rolled throughout the silent room like thunder, her uneven breathing like the wind. The storm raged through her chest cavity, quaking at her throbbing heart and tearing, ripping, splitting down the seam. Her tears flooded Spencer's hand, forming small tributaries as they broke into smaller and smaller streams, washing down the length of her forearm from her wrist. She listened to Spencer's steady breathing, watching her chest rise then fall, in an effort to calm herself.

All she succeeded in doing was drawing herself back to the previous chain of events that had led to this in the first place and the hurricane inside of her chest proceeded.

----

"_Ugh, Spencer, I thought you said it was no big deal," Ashley turned her head briefly to face the blonde then shifted her focus back to the road, waving her hand in the air to dismiss the topic as the other held expertly onto the steering wheel._

"_Yeah, I did. But I didn't mean it. It was a big deal. I just didn't think it was worth fighting over, but look where we ended up anyway," her marine eyes turned to ice as she held her gaze hard on Ashley, reaching out to flick the radio knob to silence it._

"_Well, since it looks like that's become a habit of yours, what else have you decided to lie me about?" her tone quickly changed from nonchalant to acidic, her words rigidly edged with agitation._

"_Ashley, I don't _lie_ to you," one of her hands rubbed her temple absentmindedly and she turned to face the windshield. "I swear, sometimes, just sometimes…"_

"_Sometimes what? That sometimes this isn't worth it? Because you know what, Spencer? You aren't the only one who thinks that," she regretted the words before they were even said and she felt them leave scars on her lips. Her stomach tightened uneasily as she opened her mouth to apologize, turning her head to view the damaged expression in Spencer's eyes._

_Before she could form any sort of response, she saw Spencer raise her arm and point ahead of them toward an incoming vehicle._

"_Ashley, _turn_!" she screamed, gripping her seatbelt with her free hand just as Ashley cut sharply to the left, swinging the passenger side directly into the obstacle._

----

And she remembered the blood, her blood, Spencer's blood, all over her clothes as she cradled her nearly lifeless body in her arms, screaming desperately for her to breathe. She remembered the crimson flow from the corner of the blonde's lips, a sudden jolt from her torn body as she choked on the blood that viciously fought to extinguish her lungs. She remembered begging for her to open her eyes, pressing her lips to Spencer's temple as she tasted the salt of her own tears on her lips. She remembered the piercing scream of the sirens, remembered thinking that perhaps such a noise would stir the girl in her arms. Remembered her heart faltering at a rapid rate as the minutes went on and Spencer didn't respond.

She remembered every broken bone, every drop of blood that had been shed, every bruise.

The strings of her heart tugged at the inside of her chest as her tears rained on and her ribcage closed in on the pulsing muscle inside of her, suffocating her core. Her lungs gradually began to decline the air that requested entrance and her head ached, throbbing with each heartbeat.

"When you wake up, we're going to go downtown to that photo booth, that fancy one you really wanted to try," her words were hardly audible, but she continued speaking as if it would be a miraculous remedy to Spencer's condition. "We're going to get ice cream, and go to the movies, and the beach, and curl up on the couch, and I'll hold you and tell you that you're everything because you are and I don't know what I would do without you," she inhaled abruptly, the hand interlaced with Spencer's beginning to shake. "Spencer you have to wake up because I didn't get to tell you I was sorry," her voice dwindled down to a whisper as she held her lips against the back of Spencer's hand, brushing against her smooth skin. "You have to wake up because I'm so lost without you," she murmured into that soft skin, squeezing her hand gently as her eyes slipped shut.

The silence, save for the ticking clock and heart monitor, was enough to drive her absolutely mad. She needed to hear Spencer's voice, she needed to see her lips crick up into that charming little half smile of hers, she needed to lose herself in her Pacific eyes like she had all those times before. She had no alternate options, plans, desires if she were to be deprived of those things for the rest of her life.

Despite the amount of time she'd been in the hospital, Ashley found herself missing those things like a piece of her had been ripped from the innermost chamber of who she was, throbbing and writhing from the sudden thievery of her other half. She missed the way Spencer would wiggle her eyebrows suggestively when she got tired of doing her homework, she missed falling asleep to Spencer's voice over the phone when they were unable to have the night together, she missed the way she'd laugh even when Ashley wasn't that funny, she missed how soft her touch was, how gentle she was, but yet so enflamed with passion she was impossible to resist.

She missed the way her hips swayed when she walked, the way her shirt would ride up just slightly when she stretched, the way her voice sounded early in the morning. She missed waking up next to her and falling asleep beside her.

Ashley remained silent, breathing steadily, still grasping Spencer's hand, although now her other hand had relocated there as well. She opened her eyes to glance at the clock but quickly shifted her gaze back down to Spencer as she felt her hand being squeezed in response. She patiently waited for any other reply, pressing her top row of teeth apprehensively down on her bottom lip. Losing herself in the focus of Spencer, Ashley failed to realize she had added a decent amount of pressure to her lip, nearing to the point of drawing blood, though she ignored it, anticipating something, anything from the girl below her.

The minutes passed.

Nothing.

She sighed, reluctantly releasing her grip on Spencer's hand before taking slow steps toward the bathroom inside of the hospital room. With a flip of the light switch, she stepped inside, leaving the door open as she placed her palms on the sink. Her slender fingers curled around the bowl and she gazed at her reflection before running a hand through her chestnut hair. Using her opposite hand, she turned the cold water knob and cupped her hands beneath the waterfall, splashing her face a few times before turning the knob until the flow of water ceased. The temperature of it pricked at her skin and her hand reached out to grab a white towel, closing her eyes as she wiped the water from her skin. Her weary eyes locked onto her reflection once again and she shook her head, moving to hang the towel up. As she reached to sling it over the metal bar, her ears picked up on a noise from the hospital room. Instantly, she tossed the towel to the floor, but she paused to listen once more.

"…Ash?"

The raspy voice was so broken, so worn, though her name had never sounded sweeter than it did then. Her heart swelled as she quickly ran to Spencer's bedside, leaning over the side to move completely into the blonde's view.

"Spencer, Spencer, oh, my God, I'm here, I'm right here, baby," she answered and Spencer smiled, moving her head just slightly against the pillow, angling herself to be able to see into Ashley's eyes. The brunette's hand slipped into Spencer's and she squeezed softly. "I'm so sorry, you know I didn't mean it, I was just being stupid and then I was so scared I was never going to be able to tell you because when it comes to you, everything is worth it and I never meant to--"

Spencer lifted a weak hand, pressing her index finger to Ashley's lips as she smiled up at her rambling girlfriend. "Shh, it's fine," her quiet voice reassured as she moved her hand to caress Ashley's cheek, her thumb rubbing in smooth circles on her skin. Such simple contact gave the brunette a peace she'd been seeking since the accident.

Ashley sighed with a smile and leaned into her hand, placing one of her own over Spencer's. "I love you."

"I love you more," she murmured, her lips stretching into a wider smile.

"I'm entirely sure that isn't possible," Ashley answered playfully, her chocolate eyes shimmering.

"You always told me I had a tendency to do the impossible," came the simple answer, equipped with a wink.

Even in bandages trapped inside of a hospital bed, she still managed to set the butterflies free in the depths of Ashley's stomach. She shook her head softly and closed her eyes, bringing Spencer's hand to her lips once more.

"Were you here the whole time?" the blonde glanced at the clock, unable to register the date.

"Of course," Ashley blinked open her eyes, trailing her fingertips through Spencer's golden tresses. "I couldn't leave you here, I would miss you too much."

Spencer smiled and placed her hands down beside her to push herself up into a sitting position. She winced from the pain in her abdomen and Ashley held her concerned eyes on Spencer's injuries, which she chose to ignore.

"I love you," the blonde repeated before a mischievous smile played on her lips. "I've got you whipped, Ms. Davies."

Ashley simply stuck her tongue out from one corner of her mouth before her own smile resurfaced. She knew she was whipped, she knew that ages ago.

"So, where's Mom and Dad?" her eyes searched the empty room, save for the presence of Ashley. "And Glen?"

"They were here earlier, but I told them they should go home and rest," Ashley murmured, unaware that she was gazing, almost staring, absentmindedly into Spencer's baby blue eyes. "Took me awhile to get Paula to budge, but I did it," she smiled as Spencer laughed.

She was glad she'd been able to wake up with Ashley to herself, though she'd want to see her family soon enough. Smiling to herself, Spencer laced her arms around Ashley's neck, gently pulling her down to connect their lips, softly at first, but the motion quickly grew urgent and neither found it possible to stop. Too much could have been lost for them to waste any time at all now.

And Spencer quite simply could not stop herself from smiling, playing the scene from earlier over and over in her head. The words that had left her beloved's lips while she had been unconscious would be locked inside of her mind forever.

"_And I'll hold you and tell you that you're everything because you are and I don't know what I would do without you." _


End file.
